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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
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If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
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The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
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Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
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For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
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Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Http://www.bonertube.com/videos/5084/sucking-his-longhtml
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 06:13
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